infinitepossibilities

August 18
11:35 PM
3/F MIT Bldg.

Friday night. I’m still in the office trying to finish a set. nope, it’s not martyrdom that prompted me to stay this late. neither can it be called workaholism. i’m still here because i have a deadline tomorrow. moreover, i wouldn’t allow this deadline to make me MISS a weekend getaway with a couple of my girl friends from college. as useless, i’m cramming <technically, as of this moment..NA-AAH, as i’m taking a break and writing this>, because my friggin’ body hasn’t been up to its usual healthy self. i missed work yesterday, and this day didn’t present any better, health-wise. most of the morning i fought the urge to go home and sleep off the nagging pain in my stomach <it’s like someone’s trying to squeeze dry my intestines.> in between my trying to focus on a set and trying to update my team’s progress, were countless trips to the bathroom as the food from breakfast was trying to push its way out. mein, i hate the acid that i could taste in my mouth.

side track.

ha. it usually happens like this. when i’m sitting, doing nothing, my ‘lil old brain usually randomly plays out numerous comments that i hear from here and there. then, i’d rush and grab hold of a pen and paper to try to capture the rapid thoughts flashing in my head. just a few minutes ago, the thought that flashed through my head with great intensity was my officemates’ fascination for match-making lately. bang! i’ve got no statistics at hand, but perception is very clear that majority seems to be quite enamored listening to tales that a certain "he" likes a certain "she" or that "she" likes "he". right. it’s so high school. my sentiments exactly. now what juggles my supposedly complicated little brain is the flashing thought <read: warning signal! as in flashing red bulb: VET! you’re 2.7. this isn’t high school! you are no longer 14, 15, or 16! at your age, you’re not suppose to indulge in that kind of high school behavior!> now, i’m well aware of that. what i’m not well aware about is why i DO indulge in such a behavior. WHY NOW? for crying out loud, i’ve never even had the experience talking with some female friends/classmates about crushes way back when my identity was 92-xxxx. truthfully, i couldn’t recall engaging in such a behavior. abnormal, isn’t it? now it beats me why i freely listen <sometimes talk about crushing on people>. a big part of my hypothalamus shouts "SHAME on you, vet!" the smaller part defends "why not? she’s normal, after all!"