infinitepossibilities

aside from the lack of prospect and the nonexistent xy who’s interested in me - the main culprit why i remain single is this: I CARE TOO MUCH. DAMN. today, management had to announce to two departments that their sections [mine including] have to be dissolved. the company doesn’t have work to give to our men. this is supposed to be a happy news for me. that’s because it means i’d have the time of the world to take that much needed vacation. hey! i just got retrenched! but why am i sad? i’m sad because i love my work so much. i live and breathe work. i’ve invested sweat and blood for this company to stay afloat. now, almost 5 years of pure dedication, sacrifice, and hardwork is now down the drain. gone. i’m pissed! i’m literally shaking with ire because of this. i’m furious because the pain is so terrible. i’m angry because this wouldn’t have felt worst had i not care too much. this is one weakness that up until now i haven’t overcome. i know myself too much that i would be devastated should i find an xy whom i’ll care tremendously with all my being [heck, i even believe in giving up career for a life with an xy] and then things such as one person falling out of l.o.v.e happen. whew. i know i wouldn’t take the news quite well. i’ll fall down the infinite abyss. but then again, this is the coward in me speaking. darn, if only there aren’t strings attached.