infinitepossibilities

people call it the green-eyed monster. according to one site  [http://discoveryhealth.queendom.com]; almost everyone  experiences jealousy at some point in their lives. jealousy may be triggered over "a friend’s career success or a gorgeous person flirting with a loved one" or something else. well, for someone who has never had a relationship with an xy, jealousy in this context is one emotion that’s not within my immediate vicinity. however, sometime back, i made a casual comment on something and a friend accused me of being a "jealous" person. er, that stopped me. i paused to consider the validity of her statement. not until that point did i consider myself a "jealous" person.

funny and childish
i’m not much of a fan of filipino male singers/vocalists [except if he's bamboo, joeyayala, or elybuendia, haha], however, when watchamacallit kind of music became popular the past years, i developed a liking to nyoy volante’s voice [haha, you're my you!]. his voice is not that oh-so-good, but for reasons that are beyond me, i just love listening to his band’s songs, to his voice. whenever i’m at home, i find myself watching him on tv especially if i get wind of his band’s guest appearance on this and that show. yet, this fondness stopped when nina [the goldilock's girl -- i don't know, the one with a small head and with a really trying-hard to be sexy aura??] and him became an item. haha, i’ve no grand delusions of ownership of the person, yet "geezzz….. why her???

may-december
i couldn’t care less if a girl is a decade older than her partner. age doesn’t matter, right? well, since i’ve been going home very early, i get to see filipino soaps on tv [living in a cable.less household]. in one of those soaps, singer mark bautista is one of the cast members. at the risk of being labeled "cheapipay," i do admit being a fan of the singer [hehehe.. it's his voice and eyes that did it for me.. come on, appearance wise, he's not a GOD but the transformation from one really provincial-looking guy to well, an improved-looking him...hehe]. thus, i’m really appalled to see his character being paired off with 1969 miss universe gloria diaz’s character. geezz, miss diaz is about 57 years old while mark bautista is what, younger than my 27 years?!!?.. mein, gloria diaz’s character could pass off as bautista’s mother. in fact, diaz’s character has a son about the same age as bautista. mein, i couldn’t help shudder everytime i see bautista professing love intentions to diaz. does this qualify as jealousy or just plain double standard…???

….
i don’t know if "recalling a scene where you see xy with another girl" over and over again qualifies as jealousy. come on, you’ve no relationship with the xy, yet you felt the lurch when you witnessed the scene. shouldn’t you be feeling nothing? the feeling should only exist if you’ve placed a value on the xy stimulus, right? does that mean you’ve elevated xy? has he become a valuable stimulus without your knowing it, you think? when did it happen and why? is there a way to make it stop or just lessen the value to nothing? that way, if indeed what you think is happening is true, there wouldn’t be any love lost. please let xy and xx go on, but just make the lurch stop… or is this the person who still refuses to think of herself as normal blabbering again?

well, as i was bothered with that friend’s comment, i humored myself by taking a jealousy test [not a standardized test and i don't attest to its realibility] prepared by discoveryhealth.queendom.com and i got a score of 32. [i did try to answer them as honestly as i could]

result interpretation
Most people experience a certain amount of fear that their loved one could leave them for someone else. After all, these things happen, and when they do, it is usually very painful. You fit right into this usual range - certain situations may spark feelings of jealousy, but generally you are not preoccupied with the fear of losing your partner. If you were honest with yourself while taking the test, this means that you are secure, strong, independent and rational enough to recognize the possibility of losing your partner to someone else, but not be consumed by it. That does not mean that you do not care; you would certainly be as sad or crushed as anybody else. However, you know that if it ever happens, you will survive with your self-esteem and dignity intact. You realize that even though you might love your partner very much, s/he is not the only fish in the sea, and that you would eventually find happiness with someone else. Such feelings give you a sense of security and the strength to trust, and allow you to be comfortable in the relationship. That, in turn, boosts the chances of a lasting and fulfilling relationship.
==http://discoveryhealth.queendom.com/cgi-bin/tests/short_test.cgi