Archive for March, 2007

31
Mar

laughter fix

By decrechoice 1 Comment
Categories: Uncategorized

got this from an email sent by a friend… thought of re.posting it here; perhaps it’d give an unsuspecting soul a good laugh…

Classic Definitions & Cool Meanings:

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage : It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..

9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. 26. Father : A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest… except that he got caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills. 31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails……

30
Mar

truth liberates

By decrechoice 0 Comments
Categories: thought release

let’s just say i did the most pathetic thing imaginable. i’ve been meaning to do it for the longest while, yet i never had the courage to do it. then just one day. in one of those sleepless nights, i just turned on my pc and started hitting the keyboard. satisfied with what i wrote and after buckets of teardrops, i hit the send button. darn, it’s probably the most embarrassing letter i’ve ever written in all my 27 years and 7 months of existence.

but ha, it did feel really good telling the person my whole truth. i can generally claim that it’s true what they say about burdens being lifted from your shoulders. however, writing that letter is just the first step. i didn’t anticipate the uncanny feeling of waiting for the reply. or the feeling brought by the uncertainty of whether the person will reply oR the fear of the contents, if the person replies. geez, in as much as writing that letter took some courage, so did opening the person’s reply.

so there’s his name in my inbox.

suffice it to say, that the title of this post can speak for the feeling after reading the reply.

p.s.

if you happen to chance upon this post… my deepest gratitude. you can’t imagine the depths of it. gracias.

22
Mar

….XI

By decrechoice 0 Comments
Categories: thought release

hey there!

well, this could be the last of them. i actually feel relieved that i’ve mustered enough courage to send number ten.

i’ll be truly sad if you’d think less of me because of the things i’ve said in number ten. well, that’s the risk that i’ve to take for acting on that little glimmer of bravery.

hopefully, you’ll help me get through it instead of condemning me to eternal damnation….

cheers,

-llp

21
Mar

like water for chocolate

By decrechoice 0 Comments
Categories: thought release

several weeks back, my seatmate in high school asked if i’ve a copy of this book. the one i have at home is that of my sister’s, a photocopy from her humanities I class back in college. i found a copy at RSO Robinsons a couple of weeks back. it’s only PhP150, so had the cashier rang it up. it’s truly a good buy…
[seatmate, if you happen to chance upon this post... there's still another copy available the last time i checked, march 17].

…..
just some scenarios presented in the book:

you learned that the woman you love couldn’t marry because of tradition. would you then marry her sister just to get near her?
– geez, i don’t know what kind of man will come up with this solution. it’s pure stupidity to my mind. how can you tie yourself for life with a woman you don’t love? mein, it’s torture to be around someone you love when you know you cant have him/her. seeing my beloved every day of my life will slowly kill me. perhaps it will not kill my mortal body, but it will definitely suck the life out of my very soul.

the man you love is getting married to your sister. will you attend the wedding?
– ha, it’s definitely torture. myG! i don’t know if could pull off putting a brave front during the entire ceremony and celebration. spare me the details, i don’t think i can handle it. let me grieve my loss in peace. let me not have a permanent wedding image in my mind.

so you love the man that your sister married. he claims to still love you. you definitely have the hots for him. but would you act on your desires knowing that the man is now your sister’s husband?
– i’d be lying if i won’t be tempted. please cut me some slack. it’s the man i love. it will be truly an act of great will to not jump to the nearest bed. yet, being a woman guided by reason and conscience, i don’t think i can stomach sleeping with a man who’s married, much more to a man who’s my in-law. if i act on that desire, i’m not only betraying myself but my sister as well. now that i think of it — why did i ever love the man, anyway? what did i ever see in that man who apparently has an adulterous side.

somebody comes along. the new man truly loves you to propose marriage. would you accept the proposal?
– it’s a stupid decision, i know. but i don’t think i can do it. it’s bad enough that i lost the very person i love. marrying the new man is tantamount to me settling for the second best. i know i should be moving on, but marrying the new man is me fooling myself. a new man is never the answer if the feeling is still there. with all the feelings gone, i’d probably reconsider.. but never while the feeling is still present.

19
Mar

conversations in progress

By decrechoice 0 Comments
Categories: singleshespeaks

dsi: why don’t you fight for what you want?
llp: hmmm… because getting what i want means going against what i value at the moment. an xx never tells an xy that she "might be liking him". yes, yes.. i know that i’m being overly traditional. my logical mind even screams that this value no longer holds water in this day and age. i accept that and i acknowledge that. although i’m loathe to admit it, i am truly a coward to act like an xx of the twenty-first century. i’m probably the biggest coward on this side of the planet…… um, besides, the opportunity hasn’t presented itself. so there. in any case, if there’s that little opening and if i do recognize that little bit of crack in the scheme of things <coz yeah, i’m a moron when it comes to this>, i think i’ll be able to admit it to the person. yet, on the second thought… what’s there to admit?

jcb: sometimes, you have to create the opportunity to do what you want. waiting for things to happen is YOU letting life pass you by.
llp: ouch, that hurts! but, isn’t that manipulation? technically, you’re luring the person to come to you. come on, if the person doesn’t come to you or at least know that you exist, it only means that you are not enough of a stimulus to the person. read: you’re not a valuable stimulus! end of the story. there’s nothing you can do to become a stimulus to that person. you’ll just have to accept that and move on. also, besides the manipulation angle that doesn’t sit well with me, don’t you think it’s a blow to the ego? your own person couldn’t bring the person to you, thus you’ll have to resort to things as creating opportunities? don’t you want to keep your pride?

that voice: you’re saying that you’d rather save your ego, maintain your pride and do nothing? you’d rather remain to be a non-entity to the person and let your chance at happiness slip? don’t you think it’s preposterous? and you claim to be an intelligent individual….hah, all evidence proves otherwise…. you had better do some major rethinking…
llp: i have no answer to that. well, doing something about it also doesn’t guarantee happiness.
that voice: perhaps, but what’s there to lose for you, anyway? sticking to your non-action plan is already a no-win solution for you. in fact, the non-action plan is making you miserable minute by minute. admit it.

14
Mar

… IX

By decrechoice 0 Comments
Categories: letters

hi there!

apparently i couldn’t shake it off. the need to communicate with you. i generally don’t want anything except the time to have mindless chats. i don’t want a relationship. a labeled relationship. i just want you — for purposes of gabbing away the boredom, happiness, and worries in life. though i craved the experience of a relationship, my thought processes often arrive at the conclusion that it shouldn’t be done. it cannot be done. add the fact that you’re not also in the game and i’m much of a coward to be IN the game. so there.

haha, i so look forward to the day that you’ll happily wait for your bride at the altar. in my own wacko mind, it’s the ultimate signal to reveal my truths. the ultimate period so to speak [funny that i should say that when nothing has began or will ever begin...., told you i'm full of shit]. it definitely will hurt, but i’ll be truly beaming with happiness for you. i know that when you do decide to take that leap with your woman, it’d be the best decision you’ll ever make in your lifetime.

darn, why couldn’t you have asked the right question yourself? embarrassing as the answer might be, i would have given it to you straight and fair.

btw [think you're in japan or korea today:

HAPPY WHITE DAY!!!! [look it up/google it...]

no chocolates just truth bit by bit…

08
Mar

resisting it

By decrechoice 0 Comments
Categories: songreprezent

the words seem to reach the core of me… however, the bigger part of me…. the one that according to a good friend, often complicates things for me refuses to acknowledge the truth beneath… as to the whys, my little brain still has to figure them out OR has to continue evading what’s already obvious…

Searching My Soul

[written by Vonda Shepard with additional lyrics by Paul Gordon]

I’ve been down this road walkin’ the line
That’s painted by pride
And I have made mistakes in my life
That I just can’t hide

Oh I believe I am ready for what love has to bring
Got myself together, now I’m ready to sing

I’ve been searchin’ my soul tonight
I know there’s so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home

One by one, the chains around me unwind
Every day now I feel that I can leave those years behind

Oh I’ve been thinking of you for a long time
There’s a side of my life where I’ve been blind and so…

I’ve been searchin’ my soul tonight
I know there’s so much more to life

Now I know I can shine a light
Everything gonna be alright
I’ve been searchin’ my soul tonight
Don’t wanna be alone in life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home
Baby I been holding back now my whole life
I’ve decided to move on now
Gonna leave all my worries behind
Oh I belive I am ready for what love has to give
Got myself together now I’m ready to live

lifted from: http://www.houseoflyrics.com/lyrics/vonda_shepard/searching_my_soul.html

06
Mar

truth be told

By decrechoice 0 Comments
Categories: thought release

……

in between 24 and 27 something happened to me. i don’t know what that was that happened or why it happened. i cannot specifically pinpoint what "IT" was. all i know is that what used to give me pleasure such as seeing a baby or a toddler now gives me extreme pain. all i know is everytime i see a little child my heart muscles contract, my arteries constrict. i feel that something’s wrong with the way i’m seeing things now. i am becoming aware that i’m unconsciously avoiding attachment to the children in my life. as much as i love them, seeing them grow is becoming painful.
…..
i didn’t foresee that as i grow in years my bravery factor will dwindle. as i very much loathe to admit it, welcoming the future as a single frightens me now. i used to be soooo confident that i can make it on my own, with myself as the sole ally. thankfully my conceited self is still very much intact. haha, i know that this is merely temporary and that my little brain will help me figure out things, with partner or not, I WILL BE FINE [GOD willing].
…..
not knowing the status of my application to my mission is very stressful. well, i like it when the ball is in my court as i know the control is within me. i can choose to do things however way i want them done. but then again, you can’t have everything, right? best recourse for now is learn from your friend vet, patience is a virtue.
…..
i hate one certain stimulus right now. primarily because i see it every day. without my consent, i can see the littlest change in the stimulus. i don’t want to notice the little changes, however, my little brain homes in exactly at the direction of the stimulus. grrrr……. well, it’s not exactly the change in the stimulus that’s making me see red. it’s the interpretation i attach to the observed change. let’s just say i’ve an overactive imagination. when i see one thing, my imagination just goes into overdrive. well, i’m not called the lady of assumption for nothing..

05
Mar

letters

By decrechoice 0 Comments
Categories: thought release

i’m one of those who find solace in writing letters. i don’t necessarily send them to intended recipients. generally, if there’s something in my mind and i cannot muster the courage to confront the person i usually end up writing the person a letter. however, the said letter is never sent as i usually tear the letter up afterwards. somehow being able to express my thoughts on paper, though not reaching the target person, is enough a relief to me. to this habit of writing and tearing is an exception. sometime in my junior year in college, i found myself writing to one individual and tucking the letters away, unsent and unread. curious because i ceased to have a connection/interaction with this person for like 3 or so years, nevertheless writing to this person gave me comfort. i wrote to this person when feelings of loneliness and regret surface. at other times, just reading back the letters i’ve written was enough to erase the blues that i feel from time to time. this exception came about perhaps because i fancy ‘entertaining’ the idea that i might be falling for this person. my ever logical mind refused to believe that i have a soft spot for the person primarily because my brain subscribes to the theory that falling for a person is not possible if there is lack of interaction between the two individuals. in any case, i managed to write eight <unsent> letters in the span of four years. in between the first year to now, the desire to tear up the letters is ever present. in those years, i recognize that my action borders on the foolish. yet i couldn’t bring myself to do it until 2 days ago.

one of the reasons i couldn’t tear the letters then is the idea of showing them to the person when i’ve stocked sufficient courage. this idea stems from my little theory that a living person should be made aware that amongst the populace there’s someone out there who values him greatly without his knowledge. <haha, it’s just a pity that fear stops a person from doing  so.>

well, i’ve torn up the letters. it’s time that i teach myself the concept of letting go, although i still could not bring myself to throw them in the trash for good. so much for the lesson on letting go.

04
Mar

soon…

By decrechoice 0 Comments
Categories: thought release

i dont know how to put these into words. perhaps i should begin with these two words: i’m sorry.

i’m apologizing not because i regretted the words i’ve said to you. i’m apologizing because despite the hurtful words i’ve thrown, you continue to care and love me. you didn’t take the words i’ve used against me. at the time when i said those words, i too know that they were meant to hurt you. i know you know that hurting you was never the intention. they were spoken to you because i care for you soooo much to allow you to make a fool of yourself. that’s the least that i want to happen to a friend, to be seen as a fool by anyone.

it’s tough being a friend. it’s more tough because within your hand is the power to hurt your friend. as a teacher back in college said, only those stimuli that you’ve placed so much value on can and has the power to hurt you, the perceiver. friends are stimuli that are so valuable to a person that they’re priceless.

i’m apologizing now because only when you threw back the words i’ve used then did i realize how much i must have hurt you. i’m sorry. however, i’m also thankful that when it was your time to say the hurtful words to me, you didn’t cower. i appreciate the blunt words as you have appreciated my brutally honest opinions.

know that i hear the words that you said. i cannot do them now though. in time, i’ll muster enough courage to follow the very same advice i’ve given you.