infinitepossibilities

have you ever had the urge to do something you’re very much unwilling to do? i’m not referring to murdering somebody you despise with the whole of your being. i’m simply talking about the little things, such as looking at your watch every so often even when you’re not waiting for something/someone or just making sure that your dinner table or desk is free of glass marks. you’ve told yourself a hundred times [and more] to stop doing it as there are other consequential matters that should occupy your mind and time. yet despite the unwillingness to perform the act, the urge to do it is there nevertheless. without a conscious decision on your part to do it, you realize you’ve done it again.

compulsion?

msn encarta defines compulsion as a psychological and usually irrational force that makes somebody do something, often unwillingly.

i don’t know if that’s the right term to use. it seems so strong a word for what i find myself doing several times within my day. but perhaps it is.

well, it’s irritating the hell out me because i often find myself clicking on a certain tab in my computer. the greater urge is to click on one more tab and to just begin spilling all the random thoughts in my mind. the crazy part is me telling myself that it’s okay to just keep on hitting those keys. then there’s that voice in me that shouts "stop vet. it’s insanity!" that’s when i realize, i’m at it again… and yeah, before i make a fool of myself i catch and stop myself at urge number one.