infinitepossibilities

feb. 4, 2009

i spent a few minutes of my time in the office’s cave earlier today. whenever i have a lot of my mind that’s related to work, i often seek refuge in the cave. well, the two beings there often give me perspective. though i don’t talk to them about the exact nature of my work problems, i, most of the time, will hear and catch something from what they say that gives me back my bearing.

i’ve a problem with my beautiful uterus. i’m single. may not have a child because of the former. without my planning it, i come to consider the members of my team my kids. i’m only about a year to seven years their senior, however, i can’t seem to help but feel responsible for them. it’s true that i am generally an absentee guardian to them, as i don’t have a lot of personal moments with them, but i can’t help feel a deep loss each time i receive that single white piece of paper or when i’ve to decide to move them to another team to better their career [hopefully, that’s the result of the move. i guess, i’ve to give myself a little credit, at pulling off a positive vibe during THE TALK, when deep inside i want to keep them forever.

forever is sure at the forefront of my mind, but i know without doubt that i can’t clip my kid’s wings. if it’s time for them to go, i’ve to let them go. it hurts and it deeply saddens me, but i also recognize that it’s their decision, their choice to go and i’ve to respect and honor that. my only wish that their leaving will take them to much better places.