that’s what i often tell myself when i’m in pain. you don’t want to hit rock bottom, vet else you can’t find your way back to sanity. trust me, you don’t want to lose it. we don’t have the facility for the mentally ill, unfortunately.
then i ask. how can i prevent myself from throwing such a kind of party? i try to listen to friends’ advice to keep myself busy so i can forget the pain. it’s just so darn hard to heed them when my back hurts, my pelvic area hurts…. even lying on bed, i can feel the pain at the back of my pelvis. i feel like i’m in constant need of a good massage in those areas. i truly wish to sleep now but those stabbing pain just keeps me from dozing off. it’s also probably because there are a lot in my head that sleeping right now is just not an option. i’m definitely tired of crying. i’m even full of shame now for bothering friends just so i can be distracted with the pain… so what now??
